Tuesday, December 23, 2008

A gun loaded with fully operational questions.


How could somebody rip away every defense with just a reassuring smile and completely stop your lungs from operating by gently reaching for your hand? Oh, that I should have some sort of snarky and cocky response, but I honestly have nothing. My first instinct of course, is to withdraw... but I can't bring myself to that. I guess you could say that I am too scared that it isn't real... if I just let go of that hand, I will fall through the floor itself back into a lonely reality without anyone or anything to cling to. I am so scared and unsure.

 I would give everything if I had anything to offer. If I wasn't so short, I would reach up and grab the moon for you. If I wasn't so claustrophobic, I would venture into the deepest caverns of the earth in search of something beautiful enough to be worth bringing back to the surface. God, my life is so filled with ifs. 

*sigh* If only you could see me right now... my hair all in a messy bun without anyone to play with it.... my sweatpants being put to far too good of use... not a trace makeup to be found because there is no one here worth trying to look pretty for...

I have always figured that sensibility was always the right thing, that practicality could eventually drown out risk. My issue is not that I am impractical or insensible, but that I am purely untrustworthy when it comes to people that I love. Not that I can't keep a secret, but that I am always so afraid to fall, to let go, to take a risk that I am completely paralyzed. But hey, I am the weirdest, quirkiest person in the entire universe and you somehow chose me. I really don't know why or how you came to this fateful conclusion, but you did. And I'm glad you did.

1 comment:

Adalia said...

Wow...this expresses some stuff perfectly...it's VERY relatable!!!

Great job. I especially love the way you use text size to draw the reader in.