I fell through a crack in the earth today and came out on the other side in the middle of the ocean. It was a bit chilly at first because somewhere along the way I seemed to have lost my coat, but I eventually hitched a ride on the back of a big blue whale. After some time and millions of miles later, I received a letter from snail-mail offering us a fully-paid trip to meet God in outer space. Before I knew it, we had taken off into the great vastness of some strange dream contained only within the somewhat limited expanse of my mind, where everywhere looks like nowhere and you can play ping-pong with the stars...
True, I should someday like the chance to navigate the cobweb inhabited corners of my mind, but I have simply never had the time.
Perhaps the earth is floating, I do not know. Perhaps the stars are little paper cutups made by some giant scissors, I do not know. Perhaps the moon is a frozen tear, I do not know. Perhaps God is only a deep voice heard by the deaf, I do not know. Perhaps I am no one. True, I have a body and I cannot escape from it. I would like to fly out of my head, but that is out of the question. It is written on the tablet of destiny that I am stuck here in this human form. That being the case I would like to call attention to my problem. There is an animal inside me, clutiching fast to my heart, a huge carb. The doctors of Boston have thrown up their hands. They have tried scalpels, needles, poison gasses and the like. The crab remains. It is a great weight. I try to forget it, go about my business, cook the broccoli, open the shut books, brush my teeth and tie my shoes. I have tried prayer but as I pray the crab grips harder and the pain enlarges. I had a dream once, perhaps it was a dream, that the crab was my ignorance of God. But who am I to believe in dreams?
- Anne Sexton
- Anne Sexton